Make it like that famous country singer
Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
Clean me up but let me keep my edge,
In the day I like to keep it dignified
But at night you know I got another side
And I don't give a damn, cause I am what I am
Even if it's really really bad
-Chorus-
I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do
They're givin' em to anyone, and that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
And then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do

Go ahead and buzz it 'round the ears
I've been growin' that one braid back there for years
I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche
The front may conform to society
But the back says I have personality
Even if it's really really, even if it's really really bad
-Repeat Chorus-

Make it short in front and long in back! (say 10 x)
If the top's not short enough that it stands up
I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club
But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail
Now fix my kid so he looks just like me,
And then matching crazy pants are all we need
Some may call it child abuse I just call it bonding with you Dad.
Norco Neck...Norco
HOCKEY HAIR...CANADA
ACHY BREAKY HAIR...Nashville
Mullet...HOBOKEN
Forbidden Hair...Europe
Shlong...Florida